Marital Communication: A piece of advice to a couple.

Communication is a process of process of sending, receiving and interpreting messages. Effective communication is essential in every relationship, be it marital or business and centered on the sender, message, medium of transmission, reciever and the feedback.

Every committed relationship could be in jeopardy, if the couple lack the required communication skill to strengthen the bond existing in the relationship and also will encounter difficulty should navigating the corridors of conflict should they arise (Definitely it will). Therefore effective communication is very crucial between a couple and plays a critical role in breaking down barriers that hinder understanding and collaboration.

I as an individual had my own share of certain barriers that stood in the way of effectively communicating with my spouse. This wasn’t funny in any way as resolution was very difficult and draining. I will break this barriers into:

Which include factors from the environment like noise, distance and many more. I vividly remember an incident where I did not hear clearly from my cell phone and acted in direct opposite to the essence of the message, which was clearly misunderstood. This goes to show that noise and network distortions can sometimes be a barrier to an effective communication between couple

Do you know that the emotional state of your spouse could affect how he or she communicates with you. When a spouse is passing through an emotional phase like depression for instance, the possibility that anger and irrationality will be high. These emotional factors could cause a serious breakdown in meaningful communications which leads to conflict. Emotional trauma is one of the major reasons for divorce and separations. Also, preconceived notions and certain stereotypes could be an effective barrier to healthy communications among couples. There could also be language and culture barriers to effective communication among couples. I know an inter racial couple who use a google translator as a tool to bridge communication gap between them. The mans English is not fluent so certain messages has to be typed into the translator for him to understand what his spouse was trying to communicate.

In no particular order, communication barriers could cause the following:

• 1.Misunderstandings
• 2.Conflicts that could lead to divorce and separations.
• 3.Unnecessary suspicions and erosion of trust.
• 4.Reduction in productivity
• 5.Feelings of isolations and disconnections.

For effective communication, couple should embrace the following:

• Clarity: The message passed across must be understandable
  • Avoid ambiguity and pretense and be yourself
• Listen well to understand, and not to just respond. A lot of men and women just listen to their spouse, not to understand but to respond and counter what the other is saying.
• Understand: You need to understand the emotional state of your spouse, his or her perspective. Ask questions to clear your doubts, have an understanding heart.

A couple should be a team and not rivals, never start seeing your partner as a rival. Yes there will always be disagreements but then the overall objective of the union should come tops. By finding a common ground the couple should be able to place the right priorities and ensure conflicts are resolved as quickly as possible.

Its not always an easy task to show weakness and vulnerability, but if we are honest with ourselves, there should be nothing to hide from each other. We should be comfortable enough with our spouses and also help them become comfortable with us too. If not sense of insecurity will creep in and who knows how far it could go. Be honest, be open, be comfortable with each other.

One should know when to engage is any kind of communication. When your partner is going through emotions may not be the right time to engage in certain conversations. Some might seem insensitive and the tension is aggravated. You should know when to engage or disengage for a healthy communication bridge

Some serious discussions should not be started at the mall or while driving home. It should not even be had around certain people. Its very important you know when and where to have certain types of conversations . Choosing the right place and times makes for a total attention and involvement in the communication.

Whenever your partner becomes highly irritable and shows aggression most of the time, It will be difficult to have a meaningful conversation with him or her. There is resentment and it will be impossible to discuss something meaningful about the relationship.

When ever you see someone, mostly married fellow writing cryptic posts or comments on social, its most likely there is an issue with communication in the relationship. This may not always be the case but more often that’s the case.

Anytime you are always right and your spouse is wrong, then there is an issue of communication, understanding and mutual respect. No one is right all the time and no one is wrong all the time. you also ignore the feelings of your spouse. you and your partner are on the same page and your feelings and perspective is valid and on same page. Bring down the barrier by starting to consider the feelings and perspective of your partner

When you are always blaming your spouse and never taking responsibility, you will gradually be building up resentment and disdain for your partner. That’s emotional immaturity and is very unhealthy for the relationship. Partners should complement each other and not the other way round.

Communication is the Soul of every relationship. Do your best to ensure communication free flow and remember, if its getting beyond what you can handle, seek professional help.